I'm moving on.

fucked up

2009-02-19T20:36:00.003+08:00

Family

- is the shit that you never wanted
- is the group of people that doesn't understand what you're really feeling
-is the group of people that doesn't try to know what you're feeling
- is what I wish I never had.

Winx Club

2009-02-18T00:17:00.001+08:00

I typed "www.youtube.com" and clicked enter.

There it was in "Recommended For You".

And the tears rolled down my cheeks.

F-ed up

2009-02-13T00:02:00.002+08:00

Frankly, I think it's so totally unfair.

We were never given a chance to start with.

I think given a chance, I could outperform the girls in PR. Whoever said girls do better in PR. I'll make sure he'll regret the choice he made.

I finally understand

2009-02-12T01:19:00.001+08:00

I finally realised why that day it felt so good to have someone hold my hand and to lean on.

Cos' it's been such a long time since I've found some security in someone.

Tired of all this shit. Really tired.

2009-02-10T01:15:00.001+08:00

In recent times, I've been becoming more and more tired of life. The people I once thought was important in my life are slowly fading away. Memories of them are mostly bad ones now. I can't ever recall good ones anymore.

Is this how people become sucidal? Cos' many a times I wonder why people jump, etc to end their lives when life has so much in-stored for them. But now, I feel their agonising pain. I feel them. And I can tell it's unbearable.

People tell me, wow, your parents sure love you a lot. Bullshit. I think they don't.

People tell me, wow, you sure got great friends that you can rely on. Bullshit. Cos' I think they can't even see through the mask I've put on.

People tell me, you have got a lot to live for. Bullshit. Tell me first then, what is your definition of "a lot"? I bet you can't even name 20.

People tell me, but sucide is just stupid. Bullshit. I think it can really take away all the pain right now, instantly.

People tell me, anything but suicide. I can't find a better plan right now.

So I say, goodnight world.

Woah.

2009-02-08T00:18:00.001+08:00

I am pretty confused at this point of time. But it felt nice to have someone by your side. I don't know. I'm really really confused. :\

Pardon me

2009-02-06T17:22:00.002+08:00

Cos' I was wrong. You know what I always said about friends being there for you always? That was bullshit.

So I say now, in this life, believe in yourself and only yourself.

You

2009-02-06T01:42:00.003+08:00

We are friends no more. I'm gonna start on a new journey. Alone.

In total surrender

2009-01-29T23:26:00.002+08:00

I have so many things on my mind, it's killing me.

I need a shoulder.

The Cycle

2009-01-29T18:37:00.000+08:00

I'm right here again, where I used to be.

Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can bring a person down.

2009-01-20T00:00:00.005+08:00

Sometimes we put up a strong front

However, beneath the facade, therein lies the bleeding heart, wounded and battered.

But no one understands the hurt, the excruciating pain that words can barely even describe.

No one but yourself.

Time doesn't heal it all.

2008-12-06T17:30:00.006+08:00

Time is the wise old sage
and the wrinkling of a young face, with old age

Time is the span of life we live
and the birth of Adam and Eve

Time is the destroyer
and the maker

Time is the path we trod on in the journey of life
and the thief of life

Time is never a winnable fight
and slowly in old age dims our sight

Time is the provider of work to Death
and is the breath of a newborn on Earth

Time is the cupid that brought us together
and is the change I saw in me and her

But Time is cruel
for it refuses to heal the heart that bled love

The same love I once had for her.

Untitled

2008-11-17T00:38:00.004+08:00

I would love to but I'm afraid.

Cos' I don't know what to believe in.

Josephine Erh Wan Qi (1990-Present)

2008-11-08T17:42:00.002+08:00

Today marks a special day.

It is the day...

Wait for it

The first electric lamps were placed in trains on the Chicago and North Western's Overland Limited, which ran from Chicago to California, 1906

Okay, I don't know what significance this had on the world but oh well, if the internet says it's significant then it is.

And then, on this day, someone who would later in her life create her trademark scolding "Kaopeh kaopeh!" was born too.

17 years down the road in her life, she met Shawn. He is thankful to God for letting him meet such a good friend. But sometimes, he hates her. Times when she becomes wolveri-ness.

But then again, Shawn laughs at her alot too.

Happy birthday, Jo. (:

trace "Hello World!"

2008-10-25T01:03:00.005+08:00

The world has so much to offer. We just don't realise it.

How many of you know:

Earthworms have five hearts.

Urban birds have developed a short, fast "rap style" of singing, different from their rural counterparts.

Every day is about 55 billionths of a second longer than the day before it.

Scuba divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.

Eating a packet of crisps a day is equivalent to drinking five liters of cooking oil a year.

Music can help reduce chronic pain by more than 20% and can alleviate depression by up to 25%.

The egg came first. (before the chicken. I swear this is true.)

A "lost world" exists in the Indonesian jungle that is home to dozens of hitherto unknown animal and plant species.

Men with a certain rare medical condition can breastfeed babies

There is a rare condition called Exploding Head Syndrome which you have probably never heard of.

LASTLY, ALSO MY FAVOURITE:

Bill Gates was born on 28 October! (HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT HINT)

There's so much to find out if you want. When I grow up, I really want to travel the world and experience as much as I can. That is, if i have enough MONEY.

One life. Live it.

The cycle of life

2008-10-13T00:26:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, you yearn for some thing so much.

Yet when you finally get it, it only breaks your heart in the end.

You fall, 'cause you can't take the pain.

And this guy called Time, steps in to help you back up on your feet.

And then you yearn for that same thing again.
I call that thing Love.

Ho Cheng Hao 1989 - Present

2008-10-03T23:51:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday, my friend! Feels like I've known you many^100000 years though it's been only a year plus. I still remember the orientation days when you and Josephine act as cousins to pon orientation. Tsktsk. Can't believe one year has passed just like that.

Anyway, it's been great having you around. Like seriously. I can't imagine surviving in class without guys like you, xianhan, josephine, blah blah. I mean like imagine a class full of Larrys. I'LL SERIOUSLY JUST DIE. so I thank God for people like you.

Once again, Happy Birthday, Chenghao. I love you.

Ok. Maybe not. I don't wanna be called gay.

The tears of joy.

2008-08-26T19:51:00.002+08:00

I wonder if you still remember the time what I said about the sun and the rain.

Insensitivity

2008-08-12T00:13:00.000+08:00

You think we're always insensitive. I think it's more of you take things too hard.

You're not forgotten.

2008-08-06T23:34:00.002+08:00

I'm reminded of you today.

I hope you're doing alright.

'Cause you still do actually hold a part in my heart.

Hate myself for letting it past by

A million apologies. But I guess even that is not enough.

2008-07-08T06:36:00.003+08:00

I'm very sorry, Nat. I didn't meant for the post to hit back on you or anything. Like you, I was only expressing what i felt. But I guess maybe it was too harsh on you. I don't know.

But I'm very sorry. I don't mean to hurt with those words. I guess maybe apologies won't help now either but still, I guess I will still say it.

You're a great friend. We had awesome times as friends. Let's not dwell on this please. I'm sorry.

Biased or is it?

2008-07-07T04:00:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to say. But somehow the sentence sounds pretty harsh to me. "Guys are insensitive jerks." It pretty much tells me how sensitive you are to guys too, doesn't it? I'm not trying to argue but I'm trying to make my point.

Yes, we might sometimes be insenstive (or maybe most of the time, I don't know), but at the end of the day, I know full well that we still try our best to help no matter what. And hey, we're not the only ones being insensitive too. I felt abit left out in the class too when I was with Cheryl. And it wasn't only the guys that made it so.

And sometimes, when the wrong words surface, it is definitely not on purpose. I'm sure you guys know. Sometimes, we can feel it's gone too far. We'll apologise. And we're definitely not jerks. When we know we've gone too far, we'll stop. But most of the time, guys are not that sensitive. Trust me. Guys are the most retarded at being sensitive. You have to understand that too. Perhaps I guess if you aren't feeling great about some remarks we made, tell us. I'm very sure we'll apologise. We never do mean the sacarstic remarks we make.

Perhaps we should look at it from both perspective. I know it was a rant. Some thing done to express your feelings. But perhaps it isn't very nice to only bring out the bad in us. I'm sure you guys had your wrongs too. Everybody makes mistakes. Not only guys.

There's a different perspective on everything. You just gotta understand what other's are feeling too. Not only yourself.

P.S. About the incident where Jo deleted all her files accidentally, I'm very sure XH and I didn't say anything about her being stupid and careless to delete them all. We knew how it felt to lose all your work.

Back reluctantly

2008-06-28T00:00:00.005+08:00

Hello. I'm back from a long slumber. Why?

Someone tagged me. And keep bugging for me to do it.

Thanks alot.

Rules of the game:

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

Ok, Lets start:

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

It already happened. WHAT DO YOU THINK MY REACTION WILL BE? OVERJOYED?

USE YOUR BRAIN LA.

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

Erm. I personally don't think dreams come true. You have to work for what you want.

#3. What will your dream wedding be like?

In Bahamas.

(I know you want one there too now. Don't deny.)

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

Nope! I see my love!

I love you, Mary. (:

Oh, by the way, Mary's my bed. I sleep ON her everyday.

#5. What’s your ideal lover like?

I ain't got no ideal lover. Everyone has to have imperfections.

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Very good question. AHHA! This must be a trick question! Therefore I shall not answer it!

OKAY UP TO THIS POINT, I'M REALLY DISSED WITH THIS TAG THING. IT'S BORING AND TAKING ALOT OF TIME FOR ME TO THINK UP OF AWESOME ANSWERS. THUS, FROM THE NEXT QUESTION THEREAFTER, I SHALL ANSWER BACK THE QUESTIONS WITH QUESTIONS. MAKES IT MORE EXCITING AND LESS BORING FOR ME.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

What if the person is all along right beside you?

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

Would you be angry with the person that gives joy to the person whom you love so much?

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

Do I look like I'm unhappy these days?

#10.Who makes your day?

How do you define making someone's day?

#11. Is being tagged fun?

What do you think, JOSEPHINE ERHHH?

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?

Would the people around me now still be around for me?

#13. Who are currently the most important people to you?

Most importantly, who are the ones that really matter in your life?

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Can she make up her freaking mind? (P.S. Only SOME people will understand this.)

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?

Where's the choice to be UBER rich and HAPPILY married?

#16. What is the first thing you do every morning?

Do you know that Shawn never wakes up naturally in the morning?

Have you seen how his mum kicks his butt out of bed?

#17. Would you give all in a relationship?

Wouldn't you?

#18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

Have you mentioned that the two people like you too?

#19. What type of friends do you like?

Do you see the guys I hang out in school with?

#20. What type of friends do you dislike?

You call these people friends?

NOW. 5 people will have to do this too.
they are...

UNLUCKY NO.1

JOSEPHINE ERH

HOLY CRAP! NO.2

ERH WAN QI

STUPID NO.3

ERH

SWAN NO.4

JOJO

(I'M BRAIN DEAD. THINK OF THIS ONE YOURSELF) NO.5

JACKASS JOSEPHINE!

Yes, that's right Josephine! You have been tagged back by me. THERE IS NO RULE THAT I CANNOT TAG BACK.

And the rules state THE PERSON CANNOT REFUSE.

Now you have 5 more tags to do!

I'm officially out of brain juice.

I still do miss the times I had with you. No matter how much I deny.

This is Shawn signing off.

2am

2008-06-08T02:54:00.004+08:00

2am and the rain is falling. Here we are, at the crossroads once again.

It keeps playing. On and on.

YES BOSS. Here's your post!

2008-05-30T11:32:00.002+08:00

Yes buddy/boss. This post is because you bugged me too, albeit reluctantly and lazily.

School's been fine. Rather busy these few weeks. Like projects have been flying in and out like birds (Does that even makes sense?). I've been staying up late at night just complete all the shit. And I wasn't feeling comfortable or happy with my group either, which didn't exactly make things better.

Okay! Let's talk about something else other than school!

Oh wait. I can't.

Cos' I've no life other than life in school.

Aw well. Still beats having a life of a cockroach.

Or maybe not.

Cos' tonight will be the night that I will fall for you. Over again.

Lovely friends you say?

2008-05-18T21:48:00.003+08:00

Thanks guys. You guys make me so wanted.

Have you guys ever considered how it would feel to tell someone "Oh, is anyone going? No one going ah? then I don't want go already."

WOW. That is so encouraging for the soul man. AM I NOT A PERSON?

One more.

Think along the lines of "I think I'm too tired. I'm sorry."
And then you ask "Why so tired today? What did you do?"
.
.
.
.
.
"Oh, I didn't exactly do anything much today. I just feel very tired."

DOUBLE WOW. I didn't know your body tires out so easily. Sorry, are you 4873563856 years old? CAUSE' I DON'T SEE HOW YOU CAN GET TIRED BY DOING NOTHING.

Thanks friends. You give me so many perfect excuses to give you guys now. I don't see why I should go for something that you guys want me to go when you don't even entertain me for once.

I'm not really aiming anyone. I don't mean to. It's just that I'm tired of getting all this answers all the time. All the time.

Please. It's so disappointing.

I'm crying inside.

LOVE LOVE LOVE!

2008-05-15T02:35:00.003+08:00

Pressed for time, life issues.

2008-05-10T04:07:00.003+08:00

I don't get why some people are so desperate to get a partner.
I prefer the single life.

LALA!

2008-05-02T00:46:00.001+08:00

happy happy! (:

All mixed up

2008-04-30T02:13:00.003+08:00

Indeed. It's Eric again.

Really? But I don't know. I'm confused.

With much heartfelt thanks

2008-04-27T01:16:00.003+08:00

From the bottom of my heart, thanks. (:

You're mistaken.

2008-04-26T12:15:00.002+08:00

Oh. So you thought that was meant for you? Well, you thought wrong. And before you talk about how I have utterly no respect for you, make sure you don't accuse me wrongly. Cos' THIS WAY YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ME. Think about the times you have wrongly accused me already. If that isn't enough to shame you for accusing me, I don't think you're human at all. So please check out facts before you talk.

Why bother looking.

PLAY TIME

2008-04-26T03:06:00.002+08:00

Later in the afternoon,

I mean soccer balls, of course. See you guys.

I have a new found love to pursue. You can go screw a cow or something.

A new man.

2008-04-25T08:47:00.004+08:00

OKAY. Enough of emo shit. It only gets me down. No use crying over spilt milk. I was on a hiatus,

But I'm back! And now, I'm a much

Happier boy!

My actions? What about yours?

2008-04-24T00:44:00.002+08:00

Whatever happened to this then? Have you gave a thought?
Have you even looked at what you promised then on the sixth month. If you forgot,

you said you braved tough times together with me. That was bullshit. You gave up.